Dispatch of the Day - Results catch up October 2007

The ‘season’ will run to correspond with the football season so the scoring begins after the summer break. This first post will backdate the results beginning with the opening fixture on the 10th of October.

But first the summer transfer window saw the departure of the Labour captain, Tony Blair. Like many former club favourites, some debated whether he had stayed a season too long. Gordon ‘chopper’ Brown appointed new captain and sets about changing his team….but no election.

10th October
The first question of the season flashes past the post, has Captain Brown lost his bottle? The election farce over the summer leaves the new captain open to a variety of attacks. Captain Cameron focuses on attacking Brown’s character, questioning his credibility, then his courage and his honesty over the draft budget. Browns comebacks are weak and the contrast between his ability at the dispatch box and that of the former captain are clear for all to see. Cameron continues his articulate attack by demanding an election and rubbishing Browns claims about the ‘new’ European treaty. Brown argues his case with more gusto than the during the initial exchanges but its not enough to level the match. The crowd clearly enjoying the opening game of the season, call for more!

A decent enough clash but I was expecting more fireworks considering the events of the summer. The blues just edge this one although Cameron seemed to run out of steam towards the end, but I worry for Brown if that’s all he has to offer.

Result: Labour 1 - 3 Conservative

17th October
A lively match today with Captain Brown finding his feet. The health service, and associated government targets were where the goals were scored. The captains exchanged quotes from the Health Care Commission over the dispatch box with neither landing a decisive blow. A much better performance from Brown so far. The referee, Michael Martin, has to step in after a series of fouls from Labour squad player Mr. Austin. Mr. Jackson follows him into the book for a similar offence. Brown scores an own goal on the issue of the new European treaty by calling Mr. Hague the Foreign secretary. It’s only a matter of time crows Captain Cameron. Whoops. Brown fights hard to level the game late on, but his shots over Maastricht are parried well and countered with more claims about a loss of trust over the whole affair.

It was looking like a draw for most of the game, but a slip from Captain Brown gives all 3 points to the blues late on.

On another note, a fine showing from Captain Cable today. Bravo.

Result: Labour 1 - 2 Conservative

24th October
A resounding win for Captain Cameron today, as his experience at PMQ’s tells. The first half was a slow affair with arguments about school funding and school reform. 0-0 at half time but the reds will be pleased after just edging the play, without scoring. The second half begins with the accusation that Labour put party interest before voters' interests during the Scottish election. Captain Brown obviously denies this and the pair trade quotes until Captain Brown commit’s a foul, accusing Captain Cameron of misleading the house (tut tut), and is given a yellow card by the referee. Players from both sides are warned by the referee during the exchanges, Mr. Austin again warned for back chat. Looking slightly red faced, Captain Brown has no reply to the following attacks from Captain Cameron who seeks to damage the PM though attacks people close to him within the party. The crowd is really on his back. Shame, again Captain Brown has conspired to give the blues opportunities to score by trying to worm away from the issue rather than taking a certain measure on the chin.

Captain Cameron seems to be on something of a roll here, will this fine run of form come to an end and if so will the background campaign to undermine Captain Brown see him though a baron spell?

Result: 0 - 2