Results catch up November 2007

Queens speech debate
We‘ll call this one a cup match. This was supposed to be Gordon’s day in the sun, however, Cameron rather spoiled the Captain's party. Captain Cameron has certainly developed a real knack of getting under Brown’s skin and my didn’t it show today. I wish I could come up with a witty phrase to beat this little gem, but sadly I’ve nothing better to offer. Captain Cameron steers the blues to victory in a match Brown was banking on.

14th November
Today kicks off with a small amount of self congratulation on the Glasgow 2018 Commonwealth Games before Captain Cameron gets to his feet. Smith, the Labour right back has had a poor week in training and leaves Captain Brown with a huge problem today. Captain Cameron makes hay with the news that four months previous, the Home Secretary was told that thousands of illegal migrant workers had been given clearance to work in sensitive security posts. Specifically he focuses on the government spin over the reporting of this and when his opposite number knew about the problem. With the goal at his mercy Captain Cameron seems to scuff his shot and fails to score anything. Brown's rebuttals are less than inspiring (and indeed his refusal to answer the straight question will irritate some) but he makes a marked improvement from previous weeks. He has obviously been training hard during the break.

There appeared to be a missed opportunity today with Captain Cameron and his team holding off the Lord West issue, one suspects that mention will be made in the debate following PMQs. Should the Smith story run on we may see it return, unless another player finds themselves in the papers.

Captain Cable again keeps Northern Rock in the minds of the two captains and the media.

Result: 0 - 0

21st November
More off the field problems for the reds this week, the news surrounding the loss of personal data has not made happy reading for Captain Brown. Shooting fish in a barrel is apt enough, but harpooning a porpoise that's got into your bath seems more appropriate.

The game kicks off and Captain Brown uses question 1 and the supplementary question to deliver a deliver a torpedo to the hull of HMS Tory Incredulity. “I profoundly regret and apologise” began Captain Brown in a solemn tone, “for the inconvenience and worries that have been caused to millions of families who receive child benefit”. And just like that all the wind was taken from Captain Cameron’s sails (not sure where this developing nautical theme will take us). Predictably, questions followed on the HMRC fiasco but without the vigour and determination that perhaps everyone had been expecting. In fact the questions designed to embarrass and befuddle Captain brown served as a foil for his contrite apologies and explanations of the mistakes of the week. The match ends without Captain Cameron managing to score an obvious goal. Perhaps some faint praise for not playing party politics with an issue causing distress to 25 million people, but not enough to rescue the match. Capital for another day, perhaps.

Once again Captain Cable, having charted a worthy course, articulately reminds the House of the problems facing Northern Rock and more than ever, the tax payer.

Result: 1 - 0

28th November
There are days when I wake up and wish I didn’t have to go to work, it is usually a Monday. Captain Brown’s bogey day is fast becoming Wednesday, although I suspect his winces every morning as the morning papers are pushed through the number 10 letter box.

It was a complicated battle this week with extra details being released minutes before PMQs. the big one for today is the donations from David Abrahams et al. Equally as interesting, in my opinion, is the setting up of a rather weak looking enquiry. The attack from Captain Cameron focused on the former issue and was relentless, simple and focused firstly on Honesty and Trust and then moved onto Captain Brown’s duty towards the Great British Public. We saw Brown wriggle, then squirm, but eventually limit the damage to a few goals for Captain Cameron. It may take a little time and a few more details before a more robust attack can be formulated. The release of the statement from Jon Mendelsohn, Director of Labour Party General Election Resources, just before PMQs may have worked to soften the blow or at least cloud the issue further.

“Stalin to Mr. Bean”. Quite simply brilliant from Captain Cable. I will be very sad to see him hand over the captaincy of the Lib Dems.

Result: 0 - 2